Frankly, Sarah, We Don't Give A Damn...

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Unnamed sources have reported to The Daily Rhubarb that Sarah Palin is planning to relocate to South Carolina, to run for the soon-to-be vacant Governor's spot there.

These sources say that when it was pointed out to her that the Lt. Governor of S.C., Andre Bauer, would become Governor when Saint Mark steps aside, she replied that it won't matter, that she's answering a "call".

Aides say privately that she is dismayed that the Alaska Independence Movement has lost momentum, and that she had been planning on being a "Queen" again, of Alaska, for the first time since her beauty pageant days.

With the A.I.M. dead, she is turning instead to the state, South Carolina, that led the South into- well, perdition- almost 150 years ago. She also points out that there are no major daily, weekly, or monthly publications printed in S. C., and that she may finally escape those pesky questions about what she reads.

They also say that she is tired of the cold, and her only regret will be that she won't be able to keep an eye on Russia anymore.

Well, it WAS her only regret until she found out there are no moose in South Carolina, and that hunting from helicopters is illegal there.

"They at least have turkey farms, right?" "Yes, ma'am."

Do they have the "Bush Doctrine" there? "Yes, ma'am- if it moves in the bush, shoot it." Hey, Sarah, invite Charley Gibson to go hunting with you.

Friends say she is also tired of being hammered over the, uh, "unique" names she has given her children, and thinks the mere fact that their eyes have normal separation distances will keep them immune from criticism in South Carolina.

SRT